Tag Archives: xmas

The Hip Hop Purist: My Christmas Rant

It’s the most wonderful time to be a whore for corporate pirates. Get jingling, baby.

This is my Christmas anthem forever. I know that some hip hoppers prefer other ones. Ras expresses exactly how I feel (although it is dated and he blatantly lies because only me, my homies and roaches should be here now).

I wish more people felt the same way – but isn’t that the plight of having an opinion? I mean Ras goes as far as to call his mom “bereaved.” What is a “mitochondria weave” you ask?

I will not win this battle, so I offer a truce.

Enjoy this time of year with your family. And although the reason for the season is the rebirth of the Sun, try to focus on fellowship with humanity rather than the money shot of capitalistic porn that this time of year actually is.

Here, let hip hop guide you in the right direction:

“I guess everyone would ride
in a benz rather than a bucket
Anyone reside in a crib nestled in a hill
than just to get by in a studio apartment
and live a better life
But don’t all cars get you there?
Don’t all shelters keep the rain from in your hair?
And ain’t lobster and tuna both protein?
And is the price of the shoe what protects your feet?
And ain’t it all just for the next man to see?
And can you take it all with you when your spirit leaves?
And when you’re gone will the people all remember
what you had, rather than who you were when you’re mentioned?” – Gift of Gab

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