Tag Archives: wu tang clan

11 Things That Only Look Good On Album Covers

Remember when Run DMC dropped, and you couldn’t sleep until you got a dookie gold chain? Gold on a roll, electroplate, you didn’t care you were gonna be just like Run! Then you looked in a mirror. Wonk-wahhh.

Some things simply don’t translate well to real life, no matter how sweet they look on album covers, in videos, and generally on the body of someone rich and famous. You ain’t David Lee Roth, so leave the ass-out chaps to the professionals, buddy. Think about it:

Ryan Lochte
Ryan Lochte just broke a world record. And he still looks stupid.

10. Gold Fangs. The Wu Tang Clan  pioneered this urban vampire thing years ago, looking both menacing and sexy. You? You just looked like you crossed the wrong orthodontist.

9. Extreme Sagging. Did we say this looks cool on albums? Our bad.

8. Clocks. Only one man in America can sport this without looking like a crack-addled lunatic. Oh, wait…

7. Massive Tats. Please keep your issues  bottled up on the inside like everybody else. It’s just not polite to share that much, unless you’ve got an album out that goes into detail.

6. Totally Crossed Out. Daddy Mack and Mack Daddy praised the totally crossed out look, labeling the inside-out trend “wiggedy-wiggedy-wiggedy wack.” But they shouldn’t throw stones from their little backwards glass houses.

Kid N Play
It couldn't last forever. But you gotta admit, it was hot in its day.

5. Extreme Hair. Kid cut the fade, and Coolio can’t pull off plaits anymore. So why are you playing around? Take your grown ass to the barbershop.

4. Baby Bottles. I know you’ll black out sipping sizzurp too fast, but a bunch of grown ass men would’ve looked smarter than that sucking on Hungry Jack bottles.

3. Massive Tats. Please keep your issues hidden and bottled up inside like everybody else. It’s just not polite.

2. Prince Blouse. 1985 logic: Girls love Prince, Prince loves ruffles, so if I get ruffles, girls will love me like Prince, right? Wrong; it didn’t work for you or Seinfeld.

Beat It jacket
"And whosoever shall be found, without the soul for getting down..." Dude, you're doomed.

1. Beat It Jacket. I actually never got one, which caused me untold distress until I saw how they looked on everyone except Michael. Then I didn’t feel so bad. In fact, I realized everyone looks a fool in

***Hon. Mention: All Prince and Michael Jackson gear, including but not limited to 5-inch high heel boots, high-water marching band pants with white socks, Edwardian velvet jackets and Captain Crunch epaulettes. Know your role!

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Which Old School Did YOU Go To?

The New Old School

by Adam Bernard for Adam’s World

I was having a conversation with DJ Riz of Crooklyn Clan the other day and for a few minutes we got curmudgeonly about Hip-Hop. Like a lot of folks who are reaching, or are already in, their 30’s, we lamented the lack of knowledge younger Hip-Hop fans have of the old school. Riz, however, also brought up the interesting point that teenagers today have their own version of old school and it may surprise a lot of people to see which artists fall under their “oldo-school school” classification. If you’re around my age the list will also make you feel really really old.

I started listening to rap music when I was nine or ten years old. To make this equation easier let’s just say ten. I was ten in 1988, so anything before 1988 is my version of “old school.” It just so happens, because of when I was born, all of that music also falls into the traditional definition of “old school,” as well. With that timetable in mind, let’s take a look at the current incoming college freshman class, most of whom are 18 years old. They were all ten in 1998, so providing they didn’t have older siblings who could introduce them to Hip-Hop earlier in life their version of “old school” starts in the mid to late 90’s.

The idea of Wu-Tang, A Tribe Called Quest, The Fugees, Redman, DMX, Onyx, Naughty By Nature, and even NORE being “old school” is painful to a lot of Hip-Hop fans.


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ODB Was On A Hip-Hop Vision Quest

by James Parker for Slate.com

“Creation is original freshness related to God,” said Ol’ Dirty Bastard. No, wait—it was St. Thomas Aquinas. Could have been ODB, though: No one doubted his original freshness, and the entropic rapper was quite as prone to a theological outburst as he was to one that was deranged or dirty-bastardly. Inducted as a 10-year-old into the Scholastically complex systems of the Five Percent Nation—the breakaway sect founded in 1963 by former Nation of Islam ministerodb Clarence 13X Smith—Dirty in his short life would stray wildly from the path, but the teachings stayed with him. Always at his fingertips were the Supreme Alphabet, the 120 Degrees, the Nine Basic Tenets. “The black man is God!” he proclaimed at the end of a 1994 performance on The Arsenio Hall Show. And to an interviewer in 1997: “I’m God. That’s my identity, one of the low gods. One of the earth gods—one with a lot of wisdom.” Was he high? Almost certainly. But neither afflatus nor clinical grandiosity were at work here: For the Five Percenters, otherwise known as the Nation of Gods and Earths, these were the proverbs of a simple piety.

It’s a stretch to call Jaime Lowe’s new Digging for Dirt: The Life and Death of ODB a spiritual biography—Lowe is as concerned with Dirty’s place in hip-hop as she is with the progress of his soul. But as the narrative deepens into disaster, it’s hard not to see this story in the light of a doomed pilgrimage, a religious journey that went wrong.


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HOT 5: Dumb Names

Trugoy (De La Soul): we know it’s yogurt backwards, but that doesn’t tell us anything? But that’s been the De la steelo for years. I used to think I just wasn’t deep enough to understand what the hell they were talking about until talking with other folks, they didn’t know what the hell they were talking about either. So a dumb name is par for the course

Jadakiss (The Lox): For a gangster its not the hardest name ever it sounds like a girls name, kinda. Our crack research team here at grownheadz HQ actually spent 25 MINUTES investigating the name on the net. They (ok me) got nothing. The closest I got is my personal theory. Jadakiss’s real name is James and maaaaaybe his name is a short way of saying “J da kiss of death” but that’s just a wild guess. We actually know a woman who named her daughter Jadakiss (yeah its ghetto). With a name like Jadakiss a rapper might feel obigated to over compensate in his rhymes to prove how hard they are.

Cappadonna (Wu-Tang Clan): We think Cappadonna was late to the Wu-name choosing party, and there’s so many of them that all the good names got taken up quick. Or maybe he just really likes coffee. Whatever the reason, it’s not good enough. Or maybe he was like “Check this out y’all you heard of Madonna right? Well I got a gun and I’ll bust a cap in yo ass. So get this get this, my name is CAP-adonna. How ya like me now do ya feel me? ”

Sheek louch (The Lox): Snuffaluffagus’s deadbeat cousin.

Crunchy Black (Three Six Mafia): He is not representing for the dark-skined set. Sounds like a mean-ass childhood nickname that homie never got over. Or, how about a flavor at a ghetto dairy Queen. Alright, alright one mo. We won’t go to deep with this but something to do with underwear and we’ll stop it right there.

Homorable mention We were all done and then we thought aww hell the other dude in de la soul has a dumb name too. That’s right y’all plug one himself Posdanus has made the cut.

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