Tag Archives: flavor-flav

Dating Successfully Pt. I: The Flavor Flav Way

Why Flavor Flav Dates Better Than You

I do a lot of dating workshops, and whenever I ask the question “Do you date better than Flavor Flav?” the audience responds with a resounding YES.

I ask attendees what the Flavor of Love show was about and I get answers like entertainment, silliness, a guy who wants to sleep with a lot of women. Nobody recognizes it as a televised display of Flavor Flav’s dating process.   Since Flavor of Love’s debut in 2006, Rock of Love, I Love New York, Real Chance of Love, For the Love of Ray J, Frank the Entertainer, A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila, and A Double Shot of Love with a couple of twins have all debuted on TV. But it was Hip Hop’s famous hypeman who started it all.  

So I use this show which nobody seems to respect to illustrate the importance of dating history.  What I mean by dating history is the cumulative dating experiences of a person which shape their views and influence their actions, and result in their present relationship status.  Most people do not realize the importance of dating history enough to consider it in their own dating process.  If dating is the personal vetting process to find a life partner, then there are a few things most single people can learn from Flavor of Love. 
 
The importance of learning a prospect’s dating history
The main reason I like using Flavor Flav as an example of understanding dating is because everyone feels that they’re smarter and date better than him. But Flav was actually doing what parents used to request of their children.  Dating is the first phase of family building. That purpose has never changed, and the more you respect it, the smoother your dating process will be.  The problem is, the games people have been playing on each other over the years have watered down everyone’s dating processes. 

In the dating game, there are two reality shows going on simultaneously.  The FOL girls were on Flavor’s reality show, but he wasn’t on theirs. The girls should have asked to meet Flavor’s exes.   Remember, you’re the producer of your own Flavor of Love.  Here are some tips on how to efficiently learn the dating history of the person you are dating.

Get the low down on their past acquaintances. 
Flavor Flav always met the exes. Some people feel this is an unimportant or irrelevant activity. To these people I say, imagine if your date told you his ex-girlfriend was a crazy freak who didn’t understand him–and his name was Chris Brown.
When Flavor Flav met the ex-boyfriends of the girls on his show, he found that a few of them had cheated in the past or were still dating their boyfriends! Good to know, right?

Sometimes talking directly to the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is not possible. An alternative to speaking to the ex directly is simply keeping in mind that, whatever the potential date tells you about their past relationships, there are two sides to every story.  So listen out for supporting information from their family and friends about their past dates.

Meet the parents.
Flavor Flav always made it a point to meet the parents of his contestants. This is even more important than introducing your date to your family. When you meet the family of the person you are dating, you can see how they talk to each other, their attitudes toward church or finances, learn if they have unhealthy eating habits or are right-wing gun nuts.  Meeting the family also gives you a better idea of the environment they come from, and what you may be in store for if things get serious. Your date’s family may not ever become your family, but isn’t it better to be prepared, just in case?  

Run your mouth and use your ears. 
Talk about as many subjects as you can to learn the moral values and characteristics of your date.  My book 20 Soul Questions explores a range of topics that reveal where a person is coming from. Also, take heed to what they say. Many people talk themselves out of believing evidence that a date is not a good match for them. These folks cannot turn around and be angry later, for instance, when a self-confessed dog has trouble committing. They said so up front!
Most people think they can change the person they are dating because they are different.  But if you don’t know what you are changing them from, you won’t know the risks or their potential reaction.  

Get a second opinion. 
Flavor Flav introduced his dates to his family and friends.  This is something a majority of people don’t do until they are in relationships. For those of us who don’t think it’s an important early step, there are two reasons I disagree with you.

A) You should see how the person you’re dating behaves toward the permanent people in your life–are they snobbish? Awkward? Flirtatious? It’s best to find out early, and from people who love you.

B) If you conceive a child with the date, then they will all be family anyway. This is important for couples who are sexually active to understand, because birth control methods can fail and an unexpected pregnancy can link you for life. With a child in the picture, a good relationship between the date and the family can make everyone’s lives much easier.

Overall, if you realize the importance of learning your date’s dating history, you will pick up on more clues about what a potential relationship with them will be like.

TO BE CONTINUED

Jeff Carroll aka Yo Jeff is THE hip hop dating coach. Jeff is dedicated to stopping the games in dating. Yo Jeff gives advice on how to avoid playas and gold diggers and strategies for successful dating. Reach him at coachyojeff@gmail.com

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11 Things That Only Look Good On Album Covers

Remember when Run DMC dropped, and you couldn’t sleep until you got a dookie gold chain? Gold on a roll, electroplate, you didn’t care you were gonna be just like Run! Then you looked in a mirror. Wonk-wahhh.

Some things simply don’t translate well to real life, no matter how sweet they look on album covers, in videos, and generally on the body of someone rich and famous. You ain’t David Lee Roth, so leave the ass-out chaps to the professionals, buddy. Think about it:

Ryan Lochte
Ryan Lochte just broke a world record. And he still looks stupid.

10. Gold Fangs. The Wu Tang Clan  pioneered this urban vampire thing years ago, looking both menacing and sexy. You? You just looked like you crossed the wrong orthodontist.

9. Extreme Sagging. Did we say this looks cool on albums? Our bad.

8. Clocks. Only one man in America can sport this without looking like a crack-addled lunatic. Oh, wait…

7. Massive Tats. Please keep your issues  bottled up on the inside like everybody else. It’s just not polite to share that much, unless you’ve got an album out that goes into detail.

6. Totally Crossed Out. Daddy Mack and Mack Daddy praised the totally crossed out look, labeling the inside-out trend “wiggedy-wiggedy-wiggedy wack.” But they shouldn’t throw stones from their little backwards glass houses.

Kid N Play
It couldn't last forever. But you gotta admit, it was hot in its day.

5. Extreme Hair. Kid cut the fade, and Coolio can’t pull off plaits anymore. So why are you playing around? Take your grown ass to the barbershop.

4. Baby Bottles. I know you’ll black out sipping sizzurp too fast, but a bunch of grown ass men would’ve looked smarter than that sucking on Hungry Jack bottles.

3. Massive Tats. Please keep your issues hidden and bottled up inside like everybody else. It’s just not polite.

2. Prince Blouse. 1985 logic: Girls love Prince, Prince loves ruffles, so if I get ruffles, girls will love me like Prince, right? Wrong; it didn’t work for you or Seinfeld.

Beat It jacket
"And whosoever shall be found, without the soul for getting down..." Dude, you're doomed.

1. Beat It Jacket. I actually never got one, which caused me untold distress until I saw how they looked on everyone except Michael. Then I didn’t feel so bad. In fact, I realized everyone looks a fool in

***Hon. Mention: All Prince and Michael Jackson gear, including but not limited to 5-inch high heel boots, high-water marching band pants with white socks, Edwardian velvet jackets and Captain Crunch epaulettes. Know your role!

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Why Flavor Flav Dates Better Than You

Friday night at Flav's

By Yo Jeff the Hip Hop Dating Coach

I do a lot of dating workshops, and whenever I ask the question “Do you date better than Flavor Flav?” the audience responds with a resounding NO.

I ask attendees what the Flavor of Love show was about and I get answers like entertainment, silliness, a guy who wants to sleep with a lot of women.

Nobody recognizes it as a televised display of Flavor Flav’s dating process. Since Flavor of Love‘s debut in 2006, there have been Rock of Love, I Love New York, Real Chance of Love, For the Love of Ray J, Frank the Entertainer, A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila, and A Double Shot of Love with a couple of twins. But it was Hip Hop’s famous hypeman who started it all.

So, I use this show which nobody seems to respect to illustrate a few important criteria most people do not include in their own dating processes.

If the purpose of dating is the personal vetting process to find a life partner, then there are three things most single people can learn from Flavor of Love.

1. Flavor Flav always met the exes.
Some people feel this is an unimportant or irrelevant activity. To these people I say, imagine if your date told you his ex-girlfriend was a crazy freak who didn’t understand him. And his name was Chris Brown.
When Flavor Flav met the ex-boyfriends of the girls on his show, he found that a few of them had cheated in the past or were still dating their boyfriends. Good to know, right?

Sometimes talking directly to the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is not possible. An alternative to speaking to the ex directly is simply keeping in mind that whatever the potential date tells you about their past relationships is their side of the story. So, listen out for supporting information from their family and friends about the type of person your date is.

2. Flavor Flav introduced his dates to his family and friends.
This is something a majority of people don’t do until they are in relationships. For those of us who don’t think it’s an important early step, there are two reasons I disagree with you.

A) You should see how the person you’re dating behaves toward the permanent people in your life–are they snobbish? Awkward? Flirtatious? It’s best to find out early, and from people who love you.
B) If you conceive a child with the date, then they will all be family anyway. This is important for couples who are sexuality active to understand, because birth control methods can fail and an unexpected pregnancy can join you for life. With a child in the picture, a good relationship between the date and the family can make everyone’s lives much easier.

3. Flavor Flav always made it a point to meet the parents.
This is even more important than introducing your date to your family. When you meet the family of the person you are dating, you can see how they talk to each other, their attitudes toward church or finances, learn if they have unhealthy eating habits or are right-wing gun nuts.

It gives you a better idea of the environment they come from, and what you may be in store for if things get serious. Your date’s family may not ever become your family, but isn’t it better to be prepared, just in case?

The main reason I like using Flavor Flav as an example is because everyone feels that they’re smarter and date better than him. But Flav really isn’t doing anything more than parents used to request of their children.

The problem is the games people have been playing on each other over the years have watered down everyone’s dating processes. The purpose of dating has never changed and the more you respect it as the first phase of family building, the smoother your dating process will be. Remember, you’re the producer of your own Flavor of Love.

Need relationship advice? Email Yo Jeff, the Hip Hop Dating Coach at CoachYoJeff@gmail.com.

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HOT 5: 5 Rap Acts That SHOULD Be In The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame

5 Rap Acts Who Belong in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame
GrownHeadz, ever ahead of the curve, created this very special Hot 5 months before Run-DMC’s induction into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Still, out of respect we decided to keep them on the list, as well as fellow honorees Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. The rest of the rappers and groups named here haven’t gotten the invite yet, but they damn sure deserve one.

Run-DMC (inducted 2009)
rundmc1No question, for these guys, the honor was long overdue. Run-DMC has true rock credentials. Three of their biggest hits were rock records: Rock Box, King of Rock, and Walk this Way. In fact, their second album King of Rock featured rock songs almost exclusively. Besides, Run-DMC, more than any other group, was responsible for hip-hop’s dominance of music in the 21st century.  But we already discussed this before.


Grandmaster Flash & Furious Five (inducted 2007)
gmf-ff1Initially, I was one of many who questioned Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five’s induction into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Don’t get me wrong, they were innovative, considered at one time the best in the field, and they made history when The Message went platinum in 1982. All that’s good enough for the Hip Hop Hall of Fame; I just didn’t think it was far-reaching enough for the Rock Hall. But the Hall of Fame has been good at picking artists who are the foundations upon which the city is built. Some early inductees into the Rock Hall like Louie Jordan, Smokey Robinson, and James Brown are not considered “rock” acts, but provided a basis for many rock acts who followed. In that case, of all the early innovators of hip-hop, GMF & FF definitely fit the bill. Plus, when they released The Message it put EVERYBODY (including other rappers) on notice that hip-hop was more than just party music.


The Beastie Boys
beastie11Beastie Boys do not get a free pass into the Rock Hall of Fame because they are white. They get in because they truly blazed a trail in hip-hop. They have gone from frat boy anthems (Fight For Your to Party) to headlining concerts that highlight China’s human rights abuses in Tibet. Along with rock-oriented rap hits, Beasties went all the way back to their punk rock roots and busted out live instrumentation on a few of their albums, like Check Your Head and Ill Communication. And, lest we forget, Sabotage is basically them singing (bless their hearts).


Public Enemy
pe1Why PE? The better question is Why Not? Their first, second and third albums pioneered the “Wall of Sound” technique, and featured straight-up rock songs like Sophisticated Bitch and Channel Zero. With all the screeches, sirens and dozens of samples per song, a PE album demanded to be played at 11. Add in Chuck’s BOOMING flow and you have rap that is most transferable to rock. Bring The Noise lost not an ounce of credibility or funk as a rock remake. Furthermore, PE travels with a full band to supplement their sound on the road. One journalist jokingly wrote that Public Enemy was trying to be the Rolling Stones of hip-hop. Well, with both Chuck and Flav pushing 50, still putting out records and selling out shows, they just might do it.


NWA
nwa1Sex, Dugs and Rock n Roll. In terms of pure rock attitude, NWA was as hard as it got. When your favorite band scares your parents shitless, is under FBI surveillance and continues performing despite obscenity fines, you know they just don’t give a fuck—and you love them for it. Second only to PE in rebelling against authority, they were the Rolling Stones (bad boys sexing everything in sight) to PE’s Beatles (clean-cut good guys). And if you look at the line up, it’s pretty extraordinary. They had Dr. Dre long before he was hailed as one of the best producers of all time, Ice Cube, one of the top lyricists ever (though MC Ren was no slouch), and Eazy E, one of the first artist/label owners in hip-hop, whose label signed some classic artists (DOC, Bone Thugs n Harmony). If NWA were inducted, it would acknowledge one of music’s greatest beatmakers, rappers, and entrepreneurs all in one swoop.

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