Tag Archives: athletes

Somebody Needs to Tell…Antonio Cromartie

GrownHeadz isn’t into stereotypes about athletes. Our publisher is a former football player and Resident Alien has a mean volleyball serve. But these last couple weeks, our professional brethren have been dumb-jocking it to an exceptional level. We love them, but today’s picks need an open-hand smack to the face and a good long talk on taking precautions. They’re not completely lost. Somebody just needs to tell ‘em.

Somebody needs to tell…
Antonio Cromartie about an awesome invention called condoms, so you don’t knock up every single footballer-balling groupie that sneaks into your hotel room.

If only Antonio ran the math: a $9 box of condoms (one for each kid) would’ve saved him $250,000 annually in child support.  
A quarter of 

a mill a year is fine (well, no, it REALLY isn’t) when you’re 26, but it’s not going to be pretty when you’re 40, retired, and all four of your current crop of 3-year-olds hit college.

Check out the clip of him struggling to get all their names right. He missed one altogether! Get it together and stop fucking up innocent kids’ lives.

Somebody Needs to Tell…

Ozzie Guillen that Miami doesn’t play by the rules (i.e. Constitution, Bill of Rights, Amendments, Free Speech, etc.) when it comes to Cuban Americans and Castro. They will set that ass on fire.

Ozzie Guillen pres conference
"Ooohhhh, shit."

The Miami Marlins manager told Time MAgazine, “I love Fidel Castro. A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years, but that motherfucker is still here.”

Guillen caught himself and tried to dial it back from love to “respect,” but Miami wasn’t having it. He’s on a five-game suspension, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s beefed up his personal security either.

Only one thing can repair his career in Miami: starting every sentence from now on with “Fidel Castro is a son-of-a-bitch.”

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