Somebody Need to Tell . . . . the Republican Party
“You come at the king, you best not miss.”
—Omar Little “The Wire”
President Barack Obama (I still get a little thrill from typing that) gave a thought-provoking, inspirational address Tuesday night, preparing America for the hard road ahead but reassuring us that we can get by with a little help from our friends in office. Then Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal came in and shat on the sundae.
Poor Bobby. He’s a Rhodes Scholar with an anti-intellectual base. He’s almost always the brownest guy in the room. And he talks like Gomer Pyle. Bill Clinton couldn’t have followed Obama’s speech, and THIS is the guy the Republicans sent in for a knock-out blow?
It’s not his fault he did so badly. The GOP may have the religious right, but Democrats pulled all the witty kids. Jindal’s one sad attempt at a joke bounced like a brick. He struggled to come across as non-threatening, but overdid it and ended up looking weak. The zingers speechwriters sprinkled in sagged in a mush of contradictions. He chuckled at weird points and his hand chops for emphasis were awkward. Jindal’s failure to connect was palpable.
This is partly because he’s such a contradictory solution for the Republican party. He’s of color, which is good, but the
only thing worse than being black for rednecks: of Eastern descent. The majority of the Republican base — rednecks who would be Democrats if they had sense enough to vote in their own economic interest — aren’t making all those distinctions. India is next to Pakistan, which is next to Afghanistan, which is damn near I-RACK. Democrats who lean Republican have the same racial issues—it’s why they’re leaning Republican in the first place! So the GOP’s strategy risks losing their own base, and won’t pull anyone across the fence either.
The GOP is grabbing anybody with a tan (except Alan Keyes) to throw in front of a camera right now. But somebody needs to tell them nobody’s falling for it.
