By Yo Jeff, Hip Hop Dating Coach
Image by Darren Baker
Who said dating isn’t stressful? Hell, many times the stress starts before even meeting the person you will date.
Some women fall victim to thinking if they’re cute enough, one day Prince Charming will see them across the room and violins will play. I know Valentine’s Day is coming up, so these are some tips for real women over 30 whose glass slippers are beginning to pinch.
Steve Harvey’s book ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man’ helps women understand how most men think and react, in order to better attract them. However, the days of ATTRACTING men are numbered.
As a dating coach, I encourage my female clients to actively approach the people they like. Women need to be more aggressive–just looking good doesn’t cut it anymore. Good men have too many options. So women need to learn how to pick men up.
Have an opener. I say opener as opposed to pick-up line, because it takes more than just one line to pick someone up. You just want to start a conversation. Here are 6 good ones to use.
1. Fly the friendly skies. The airport is a great place to meet potentials who probably have jobs and interesting stories. Since every region is known for something, strike up conversation about your destination city. It invites him to share his likes and dislikes with you and flatters him as an expert.
Example: So what’s the best rib joint in downtown Memphis?
2. Help a Brother Out. If he’s juggling packages or falling all over the place, offer to carry a bag or hold a door–but be mindful that people now-a-days can be very guarded.
Example: Promise I’m not a thief, but I couldn’t watch you struggle any longer. Plus, I wanted to prove there are still good people in the world.
3. Got jokes? Humor is always my favorite approach. Even if what you say is corny, give it a sincere try. Political and educational subjects are good, but stay away from cynical negativity.
Example: (In a long line at a grocery store) Why is it faster to get a cooked meal then it is to get the food to make the meal?
4. Pass on some good information. People always appreciate saving money. If you spot a cutie shopping, suggest they check out the store’s website for discounts. Carry a couple of extra business cards from your reliable mechanic, outstanding printer or caring doctor. Then peep out the best situations to pass them along.
Example: I saw you ordering a soy latte. I know a great holistic health counselor you might be interested in.
5. Work it while networking. Business conferences aren’t all about business. In line at the bar or between sessions, get some casual conversation going.
Example: What’s the best (or worst) conference you’ve ever been to?
6. Ask someone what they do. Asking what he does for a living doesn’t have to come off gold digger-ish. Here’s a graceful way to broach the subject that works almost anywhere, from the post office to the roller skating rink.
Example: I need to get out more; this place has changed a lot since the last time I was here. I sit in a office all day looking at a computer. What do you do?
Ladies, I’m a realist: There are no magic slippers in the real world, and life is too short to sit around watching other people take control of their lives while you wait for lightning to strike.
Get out there, and good luck!
Email Jeff at CoachYoJeff@gmail.com.
