I Stopped Loving Hip Hop: Music vs. Motherhood
by Shonda Tillman
I stopped loving hip-hop. Well, not exactly. But I came close – way too close. You see, when I was a teenager I loved and lived hip-hop. Those were the days of NWA, the D.O.C., Salt and Pepa, Too Short. The music was rebellious, edgy and LOUD. And the beats, oh the beats! There was nothing like hearing a Too Short beat bumping from the car of a fine chocolate man. Doomp, da doomp, dooooom, bu-na-na, doomp da doomp dooooom…
Then I became a mom.
“Don’t play that in front of the kids,” I heard myself screaming at my husband. But we continued to pump our music when we were alone. And I began to hear the words with my new “mom” ears. How could they promote this type of violence? How could they talk about drugs and call women “hoes” so freely? Why are they creating this picture of madness, of the worst of the worst for all the kids to hear and copy? How could I have ever been so stupid as to listen to this SMUT!
Indignant, I boxed it all up—but still could not throw it away.
My boycott lasted for several years, until the other day when one of the television stations showed a documentary on hip-hop. I found myself excited to hear the songs I once loved. I remembered how exciting it was seeing NWA’s new video on MTV, waiting for the Roxanne responses to come out, getting my first pair of Salt N Pepa earrings, using my after-school job money to buy Guess jeans and gold rings with my initials on them. God, I missed those days.
I almost stopped loving hip-hop. Until I remembered that there are many neighborhoods where drugs are rampant and a walk to the corner store can cost you your life. My high school classmate Tanisha was killed by a stray bullet while walking down the street. Rodney King proved to the world that police brutality does exist. In college, I spent an afternoon at the studio with Too Short. He was extremely polite, talented and never once called me a B***tch. And last but not least, many women honestly do conduct themselves as “hoes.”
The reality is that rappers are expressing the hardships of everyday life, the same way the Furious Five told us that they were close to the edge. Rapping was a way to be heard, to scream out the hurt. These were my brothers, and they deserved to be heard.
I can not stop loving hip-hop because it helped my brothers and sisters escape a hard life. I can not stop loving hip hop because of the extraordinary entrepreneurial skills each artist showed by creating something from nothing. Dr. Dre turned out to be a musical genius, Ice Cube is putting out great family movies, Russell Simmons has created an empire which will influence generations to come, Run-DMC was able to merge rock with rap – all of them just needed a chance to shine.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
But when are we gonna stop giving and accepting that “Hood CNN” excuse? Most of this gun talk is just exploitive, not informative.
I think women and mothers should have a bigger voice in hip hop. Female rappers should get up their courage to talk about their real lives, not just their wardrobes.