Grownheadz : For adults who love hip-hop

Jerry Craft Has Issues! Black Comic Strips Do, Too

Black Panther, Luke Cage, Falcon, Black Lightning and Black Goliath are in studio at a talk show taping. Though seated, sweaty faces, fidgeting fingers and shaky knees betray their nervousness. Why? Because they’re appearing on a segment called ‘Confronting the Black Superheroes of My Youth,’ and cartoonist Jerry Craft is cutting them no slack.

He slams them on wack origins (ex-convict), pathetic abilities (faster than a jungle cat!), corny outfits (a helmet with an afro wig on top? really?) and excessive chest exposure, then sums up his real beef: They didn’t have any real powers, so young black kids wouldn’t think, even through their comic books, that they could grow up to wield any power either.

As the flash animation on www.mamasboyz.com says, Jerry Craft has got issues, but he’s working them out with a pen and a pad.
Craft is more well-known for Mama’s Boyz, a family-oriented comic strip that follows the lives of single mom Pauline Porter and her two sons, Yusuf and Tyrell.
In a graphic novel world of compromised heroes and fiends, Mama’s Boyz can look deceptively soft. Characters have semi-colon eyes, sport high-top fades, and the humor is never as caustic or biting as, say, Boondocks.

Jerry Craft says that’s all according to plan. The gentle-voiced 46-year-old, who has two young sons of his own, believes it takes more balls to try to help kids do the right thing than shock jaded Gen Xers.
“Of all of the black strips, Boondocks is definitely more political and hard-hitting and more, uhm, you know, there’s a lot of cursing, and that tends to sell because it’s what’s expected of us,” Craft explained. “Whereas the family-type style of what I do would really take someone bold enough to say let’s see if we can break some ground and have something with a moral connection catch on.”

But the Porters aren’t the Cosbys: sometimes money is tight and Pauline worries about  male role models for her sons. Craft is portraying a family that wasn’t dealt perfect cards, but is functional and successful anyway, and he feels that’s more important than reflecting his own two-parent background.  
“When I was coming up, most of my friends were being raised by a mother or grandmother. I was one of the few of my friends who had both parents living at home,” said the native New Yorker. “Pretty much, the dads were nonexistent, so I wanted to do a comic strip that paid homage to these strong moms who were raising these kids, as bad as me and some of my friends were.”

Jerry’s first book, Mama’s Boyz: As American as Sweet Potato Pie, came out in ‘97. He tried to follow the Fat Albert school of comedy, where there’s a lesson in the humor without beating kids over the head with it.
Craft spoofs Where’s Waldo on the book’s back cover, with Yusuf asking readers, “Can you tell how many people are watching me and my brother Tyrell as we try to shop?” The sketch is filled with undercover officers peeking over counters and around doors. The title? Where’s Security. It’s indicative of Craft’s work: a seven-year-old would just count the number of guards and laugh, but a 12-year-old might start making connections between their own profiling encounters.

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3 Places To Find Guys During the Holidays

By Yo Jeff Carroll

While the holidays are a good time for couples, most people would say they’re a bad time for single people. Well, I like to challenge popular belief. As a good man myself, I know that Thanksgiving through Martin Luther King Weekend is probably the best time to find a person to date. You won’t need stilettos or new clothes to find them either, just a healthy helping of friendly attitude.

So, if your goal is to find good dating material, the holidays are a premium time to do so. Here are a few places you should be scouting out.

Charity events.

The end of an old year and the beginning of a new one bring out the good in people. I have a saying: Good people do good things and miserable people do nothing. Go to a soup kitchen or a church’s homeless outreach. Organize a canned food drive or collect clothing for needy people. Typically, most volunteers are older and married, but the few single people who give back on the regular are high quality–and that’s what you’re aiming for. After all, if you were only after numbers, you could just go to the club.

The Mall, or independent retail centers.

When window shopping for mates, make sure the guy is not buying gifts for a girlfriend or wife. Guys don’t go to the mall looking to pick up women, and you can catch them off guard. Chill out at the food court and sit next to a guy who you think is your type, or browse the nonfiction aisles of the book store.

A Friend’s Holiday Party.

Your friends probably have similar values to you and even if they don’t share your taste in men, it’s a good bet they’re aware of what you like. Check out their parties and see who they introduce you to. This goes for male friends’ parties too, not just your female friends. After you meet someone, make sure you ask your friend the host about details on them.

Bonus points: The Gym!

This isn’t a place I’d normally recommend, but during the holidays, the type of guy working out at the gym changes a little. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years fall at the end of the year and people start to think about personal improvement. So, if you get the fitness bug, pass on the musclehead lifting free weights and strike up a convo with the guy on the treadmill.

So, get your conversation ready and get off your couch watching movies–a date isn’t going to just walk through the screen. Don’t give up, there are a lot of good people all around you. After I got married, I saw more marriageable people than before, so believe me they are out there. As always, your boy Yo Jeff.

Yo Jeff! Caroll is the FIRST hip hop dating coach for men and women for questions and advice email: RBGWORLD@aol.com

By Yo Jeff! Carroll

Pop culture is fascinated with the role reversal trend in dating. The number of women making more money than their male counterparts is increasing every year, and the cougar craze looks like it’s here to stay. There are cougar conventions and even a cougar TV show. Well, for all of the women who are considering being in an “on top” relationship, or as the Tantra would say, A Pair of Tongs, I have a few tips. Whether you’re looking at a younger man or one who makes significantly less money than you, here are some suggestions that could improve the success and harmony of your relationship.

STEP 1: GET YOUR HEAD RIGHT
First off, it’s important to remember that the woman as senior breadwinner is a relatively new arrangement.  This option originated from strides made by the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s, and is less than 30 years old in mainstream American culture.  Therefore all of the kinks have not been worked out yet, emotionally speaking, for many of the men and women who find themselves in this situation. Get your mind right about what you are willing to give and what you expect, and learn his positions too.

Be mindful that financial success—or the lack thereof—isn’t directly tied to someone’s work ethic. In other words, just because someone doesn’t make a lot doesn’t mean they’re lazy. Next, not everyone wants to be rich. Some are happy being comfortable, and what that is varies from person to person. Finally, age or income does not equal maturity or intelligence. This is important to understand whether there is a woman or man on top.  Those three tips will give you a good mindset for approaching your woman on top relationship. 

STEP 2: TALK IT OUT
Communication can be a minefield in a role-reversed relationship—but it doesn’t have to be this way. Think about your man’s personality. Is he an alpha male, a supporter, easy-going or quiet? This can clue you in on how to approach an issue without arguing. Communication can be a minefield in a role-reversed relationship—but it doesn’t have to be this way. Think about your man’s personality. Is he an alpha male, a supporter, easy-going or quiet?
Alpha Males want to be in charge, so make sure you have a logical and thorough explanation for your idea. It doesn’t hurt to stroke their egos a bit as well. Supporter men like to make decisions cooperatively, but as they’re a little more nurturing, a few more “I feel” statements can strengthen your point. Easy going men are willing to conform to your wishes, so explanations are not as necessary, but they do help build the Easy going man’s understanding of your decisions.
Sure, you can bully your way around with Supportive and Easy going men, but over the long run that builds bad habits in you as the leader. Decision-makers should always understand their own reasons for their decisions, because any type of man can question your thought process.
A final note on personality typesa: Never automatically assume a Quiet man is an Easy going man. They can be either Supportive or Easy going; the tricky part is to figure out which. I suggest you treat a man who does not talk a lot as a Supportive man and get in the habit of explaining your decisions. Not having reasonable explanations when you are asked about your actions can erode trust in your leadership.
Another aspect of communication is how you talk to your partner, especially in front of other people.  Do not humiliate or be condescending with him. Remember, you are not at the office and he is not your employee–he is your partner. Explain the dynamics of new environments before you bring your partner to them. Sure, the corporate shindig has an open bar, but can he limit it to two drinks since you’re gunning for that promotion? It’s okay to coach him, but you want to make your partner feel as though he’s your teammate, not your inferior. 

STEP 3: GIVE AND TAKE
These last three tips are generally good for any relationship, but especially those with traditional gender role reversals.
– Don’t act like Archie Bunker or the way chauvinistic men did before the ERA movement. Be considerate and thoughtful, the way he should be towards you.  

– Consider the sacrifices your partner makes to do things with you. It may be much harder for him to get a day off from work than it is for you, and he may have to promise some extra commitment down the line. This is very important to remember when it comes to vacations and holidays. 

– Finally, love is an emotion expressed through actions, not by the price tag of the gifts you get.

Cougars and female breadwinners are truly liberated women. Having control of your relationship puts you in the drivers seat, but you also have the pressure to fulfill the both the traditional woman’s role as emotional caretaker of the relationship, and the male role of “fixing” or resolving problems that occur, so take your position seriously. The person on top has the power, and with that power comes great responsibility.

Yo Jeff! Caroll is the FIRST hip hop dating coach for men and women for questions and advice email: RBGWORLD@aol.com

Michael Steele’s Monday Itinerary

9 am     Email speech ideas to RNC vetting board

10 am   Research healthcare pitch to NAACP; Disorderlies in Netflix queue

11 am   Line up KFC sponsorship for African-American outreach campaign.

                 Sidenote: Ask for lifetime chicken pass; maybe this will get me back into the family reunions!

12 pm  Check to see if Clarence Thomas confirmed FaceBook request

1 pm    Vetting board replies: nixed opening rap and big finish tap dance, but suggested location change to watermelon patch. Feedback, they’re warming to me!

2 pm    Weekly re-edit of Wikipedia entry while ducking calls from Black Crusaders

 3 pm     Practice “You da man!” to sound more authentic before conference call with Ward, Armstrong and Juan.

4 pm    Call Rico Suave, Macarena guys for possible Latin outreach.

4:30     Cut out early to buy advance tickets for Precious; hope it’s as funny as Norbit!

Parenting 101 — Grownhead Style. by Shonda Tillman

Lately I have been trying to think of new ways to build confidence and drive in my children and I have come to a conclusion: the quickest way to build self-esteem in a black child is through a positive hip-hop song. Dr. Phil be damned – sometimes that “professional” stuff just doesn’t work. But a good beat that helps them walk around like they are the S**T never fails.

But I had to be careful. As a grownhead, I wanted to dig in my crates and grab a song that got me through hard times, but these days kids are not easily impressed. You gotta bring something fresh and new to the table. I decided to ask my old friend Shan B (who himself is a music artist) for a suggestion, but before I had the chance he unknowingly handed me the perfect song – “Gon Get It.”
Pray for the best, but prepare for the worst…

Bam, the first line of the song hit it on the head.

Now mind you, I have been saying the same thing in my best mommy pep talks all year, but now my kids instantly understand. It’s momentarily irritating, but I digress.

When it comes to my faith, I’m gone get it, when it comes to my fam, I’m gon get it, when it comes to my life, I’m gon get it, gon get it, gon get it…

This hook epitomizes everything that I want the children to remember. In addition to being armed with the WHOLE armor of God, I want them to step out each day knowing what they want and determined to get it – the right way. In our busy lives, there isn’t always time for long pep talks and hugs, and we all know that sometimes a mother’s words just don’t get through.

But a hip-hop song can be a quick injection of inspiration to ‘make good choices’ (mommy speak) and say it in a way I never could.

My choice is to live and learn or be a fool in a hearse… / work hard daily, even though they hate me, I stay doing me being all I can be…

He’s hitting them hard, and I don’t have to say a word. It’s best if I act like I never heard the song before in my life! “Penitentiary time is not on my checklist…” – awww, they’re two-steppin now! It’s time for me to step in.

So kiddos, what about that A we need to see on your test today? “I’m gon get it,” they bop. And what about that part in the school play? “I’m gon get it,” she dances. What about your promotion at work mama? “Gon get it, gon get it, gon get it.”

So #1 on my mommy checklist – build self-esteem and drive in my children – DONE! And all it took was 5 minutes and a hip-hop song. Now that’s how a real mama does it – grownhead style!

CHECK IT OUT! Bennetti – I’m Gon Get It

by Yo Jeff

Did you meet the kid who likes your child yet?  Well there’s nothing to be scared of so put all of your tough talk and hard attitude away and save it for the movies.  Wake up, it’s the new millennium and having a scary looking parent standing at the door saying, “you better treat my daughter right” is so yesterday.  Today there are much more constructive conversations for that dreaded first meeting. 

Whether you have a son or a daughter the same philosophy applies. The same goes for if your child is 12 or 22, and regardless if you are half of a church-going couple or a playa turned single parent. You can give your child the assistance they need to begin their journey down the path of finding a life partner. 

Aside from educating your child about the impact of unexpected teenage pregnancy and STDs, it’s equally important to talk to them about dating. It transmits your values about how to treat others and what kind of behavior to accept. Don’t give advice that directly contradicts your lifestyle; if your child has seen you bring home a different partner every week, you can’t very well insist they wait to be married for sex. What you can do, if you’ve been a bad example, is talk to your child about what influenced your outlook and the consequences of some of your actions. You don’t have to destroy all boundaries to have an honest conversation with your child. 

Sometimes you find out your child has a love interest before you think they’re old enough to hear about the birds and the bees. If this happens, fear not. 

First thing you should do is to request a meeting with both of them.  You can have the meeting over at your house or somewhere else you can have uninterrupted conversation.  Use the meeting as the screening opportunity that it is. Show your child how to talk to someone they are interested in. Pretend you are interviewing them as a couple. You will be surprised what you find out. Ask them questions like how they met, what they like about each other and why they want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Humor is a good way to talk about sex.  Ask a question like ‘Have you ever simulated the act of reproduction?’ Everyone knows what you are talking about and it sounds less judgmental than asking the child if they’re a virgin.  Request a meeting with their parent or parents—this lets them understand that it is more than the two of them who will be connected. 
Your child’s decision-making skills are their first line of dating defense. Empower them with the dating smarts you’ve learned so you won’t end up like the parents on MTV’s Parental Advisory, trying to break your child away from a date from hell.  If you feel you need to brush up on your dating knowledge there are a number of basic dating books, which give a lot of good advice.

Look, there are no arranged marriages in America so people have to learn how to date.  Be the trusted life coach your child needs you to be. 

This is your boy Yo Jeff, Hip Hop’s #1 dating coach, wishing you good luck.  Any comments? Leave ‘em below. Send questions to CoachYoJeff@gmail.com.

Rookies of the Year: Break-Out Stars of Rap’s Freshman Class by Big Rob E

It seems for a minute now, I’ve heard peers around my age tell me how “Rap doesn’t have anybody good anymore,”  ‘cept for the veterans we grew up loving. Though ish’ ain’t never gonna be like it was once upon a time ago, I do see some of these new cats doing they thing.

Drake has had the big buzz for some time now. Even Ma$e jumped on his song to announce his back-to-back comeback.  Hopefully, he’ll be able to come with that album that’ll justify his hype.

I’m diggin’ this West Coast run that Cali’s own Jay Rock is on, reppin’ his projects to the fullest. There’s an authenticity he brings that’s real refreshing compare to folks now-a-days. I was late on B.O.B., aka Bobby Ray, aka B.O.B. again, but I’ll tell ya he’s pretty good. I was hating at first, but after giving a mixtape or two the time of day, he’s somebody that can hold his own—reminds me of homeboy from Field Mob (what’s goin’ with them, they was nice wit it?).

Asher Roth is another one that can do his thug thizzle (minus the thug part). I don’t like everything he’s got, but the ones I do are just fire and you know he’s not going to give you the stereotypical rap song, which I’m all about.
Kid Cudi: I’m still on the fence about him but I’m sure he’s goin’ to produce that joint that wins me over one of these days or nights.

Another cat I still consider on the new, Joell Ortiz, is just undeniable. Not only is he with this sick squad known as SlaughterHouse, but for those of you who miss the old days and want to hear something new, Mr. Ortiz’s mixtape Covering the Classics is something you cannot allow yourself to sleep on. He does justice to old skool hits in a way that lets you know that he was right there with us, going through the same experiences.

Dear Sucka MCs: Enough is enough. Signed, Everybody

by Renee Brown

Few people know this, but it is U.S. Federal Law that every man between the ages of 15 and 38 of African-American descent must pursue a hip-hop record deal. At least I assume this to be true, given that nearly every black man I know is either an aspiring rapper or producer, and most of them prioritize this goal over pretty much anything else in their lives.

Of the eleventy-thousand aspiring rappers that I know, I would say that roughly 5 of them have actual talent. Of those 5, roughly 2 have an actual shot at getting signed…and as we know, obtaining a record deal does not guarantee success. So what does that leave us with? A society that, already plagued with environmental, economic, and class crises, must now deal with an excess of Sucka MCs.

In every major city I visit these days, I find a “28 Days Later” type of situation, only instead of blood-thirsty zombies, there are hundreds of Young Jeezy hopefuls urging me to buy crudely produced CDs with titles like “Bullets and Butt Cheeks,” with an ambition that would make those zombies look lazy.

These unwelcome sales pitches leave me in a dilemma: While I typically support local artists and applaud urban youth who are not serving for a living, not to mention appreciating someone with a dream, the music is nightmarishly terrible 98 percent of the time. Furthermore, I can’t help but lament the time, undiscovered non-musical talent, and blank CDs that are wasted on this musical fuckery. Since the birth of hip-hop, there have been Sucka MCs, but why do they exist in such great numbers today?

Let us flash back to the 80’s, when the Reagan administration all but eliminated the middle class and destroyed the black community by making the drug trade the only option for many of the poor.Back when hip-hop was still creatively legitimate, MCs would convey their views on this cultural phenomenon through music, which, at that time, was among the most revered mediums of artistic social commentary. But America wouldn’t be America if a good thing was not exploited for profit.

Slowly but surely, the music lost the message and morphed into a wasteful, depressing tell-all on the newest form of slavery. Selling cocaine was no longer a tale of survival or an attack on our community; it was now a status symbol and a rite of passage for underprivileged, urban men. The person to be admired in the hood was not the one who graduated from college and got a well-paying gig with IBM; that person was nowhere to be found in the hood. The role model became the dope man, who embarked upon the marriage of the century to hip-hop.

As so often happens in marriage, the two parties became one (one of the reasons why I have sworn off of marriage), and gave birth to the newest hood role model: the rapper who capitalizes off of boasting about selling drugs to his community. Somewhere down the line, someone got wise to the fact that one can make a song about serving without actually having any experience in that field. So began the reign of the Sucka MC.

Kudos to the Sucka MC. They have a proud tradition of making millions of dollars off of sheep-like idiots. And a thumbs-up to whoever held out the hope of making it big to an entire generation. But an enormous Fuck You to those who abandon searching for whatever real talents and abilities they may have in order to pursue a career in something that A.) They suck balls at, B.) Contributes absolutely nothing of value to society, and C.) Will see to the extinction of real hip-hop altogether.

What a sad reflection of the poor self-esteem of a people. As if the redundant, bland musical abortions heard on the radio are not depressing enough, we must constantly be reminded of the hopelessness that plagues our community. Black youth bank on singing and dancing to be their meal ticket…what year is this? It is my hope that the success of President Barack Obama will prove not only to black youth, but to every oppressed people that they have options. To show them that their destinies are not controlled by the system. To show them what a real G is capable of.

To the Sucka MCs out there, I implore you to discover what your real God-given talent is. It may have nothing to do with music, or whatever you consider to be music. While you may think that this task is far too challenging, you may find that there is a home for you that is 100 times more rewarding than “Bullets and Butt Cheeks.” Give the real MCs a chance to get on. And please, God, free hip-hop from exile and show the world once again the relevance, creativity, beauty, pain, humor, fun, unity, and power of this great art form. Amen.

I Stopped Loving Hip Hop: Music vs. Motherhood
by Shonda Tillman

I stopped loving hip-hop. Well, not exactly. But I came close – way too close. You see, when I was a teenager I loved and lived hip-hop. Those were the days of NWA, the D.O.C., Salt and Pepa, Too Short. The music was rebellious, edgy and LOUD. And the beats, oh the beats! There was nothing like hearing a Too Short beat bumping from the car of a fine chocolate man. Doomp, da doomp, dooooom, bu-na-na, doomp da doomp dooooom…

Then I became a mom.

“Don’t play that in front of the kids,” I heard myself screaming at my husband. But we continued to pump our music when we were alone. And I began to hear the words with my new “mom” ears. How could they promote this type of violence? How could they talk about drugs and call women “hoes” so freely? Why are they creating this picture of madness, of the worst of the worst for all the kids to hear and copy? How could I have ever been so stupid as to listen to this SMUT!

Indignant, I boxed it all up—but still could not throw it away.

My boycott lasted for several years, until the other day when one of the television stations showed a documentary on hip-hop. I found myself excited to hear the songs I once loved. I remembered how exciting it was seeing NWA’s new video on MTV, waiting for the Roxanne responses to come out, getting my first pair of Salt N Pepa earrings, using my after-school job money to buy Guess jeans and gold rings with my initials on them. God, I missed those days.

I almost stopped loving hip-hop. Until I remembered that there are many neighborhoods where drugs are rampant and a walk to the corner store can cost you your life. My high school classmate Tanisha was killed by a stray bullet while walking down the street. Rodney King proved to the world that police brutality does exist. In college, I spent an afternoon at the studio with Too Short. He was extremely polite, talented and never once called me a B***tch. And last but not least, many women honestly do conduct themselves as “hoes.”

The reality is that rappers are expressing the hardships of everyday life, the same way the Furious Five told us that they were close to the edge. Rapping was a way to be heard, to scream out the hurt. These were my brothers, and they deserved to be heard.

I can not stop loving hip-hop because it helped my brothers and sisters escape a hard life. I can not stop loving hip hop because of the extraordinary entrepreneurial skills each artist showed by creating something from nothing. Dr. Dre turned out to be a musical genius, Ice Cube is putting out great family movies, Russell Simmons has created an empire which will influence generations to come, Run-DMC was able to merge rock with rap – all of them just needed a chance to shine.

“Practice. We talking ‘bout practice.” –Allen Iverson

With all the hoopla of Michael’s passing we,you, and everybody has seen hours of video and concert footage of Michael for the last 40 years. When he was on the stage Mike never seemed like he was giving less than his best. All the footage of the man in concert shows a performer that obviously took time AND practice to give people the best possible show. What’s my point?

A lot of you rap Negroes need to get a show!!! I mean really some of y’all need to work something out. Lock yourself in ya momma’s basement, get ya boys, ya DJ and whoever else will be appearing on the stage with you and get together a show.

Over the last 3-4 weeks I have seen Smiff & Wesson, Slum Village, Slaughter House, 5 Ela, One Belo, Finale, Reflection Eternal (Talib Kweli and Hi-Tek), Tech N9Ne, Big Boi, The Roots, and Nas & Damien Marley.
These shows have ranged from huge outdoor venues like Rock the Bells in Detroit to low key club joints in Miami so the names you probably don’t recognize are underground and independent cats I checked out.

Now check the list one mo’gin and guess who had the best show. Nope. Ya picked wrong. Tech N9Ne. What? Well depending how old you are and where you live you’re either like Hell YEAH! Tech N9Ne! OR (like me a few weeks ago) Tech Who? Now I had seen the brother’s name before, but had never checked out the music. Still because of a hot performance me and my skeptical friends actually had to pay attention, and might pick up a single or at LEAST take a listen to an album. HE had a show. A few dance moves, great transitions from one song to the next, and rapport with the crowd. He was so filled with energy it was contagious.

Tech was part of Rock the Bells and even though there were bigger acts, he stole the show. Don’t get me wrong the Roots were top notch (the crowd wanted an encore) and Big Boi (sans 3000) was VERY good. But they’re SUPPOSED to be good. They’ve got hits and years of experience. Nas and Damien Marley performed together and had surprisingly good chemistry (never underestimate the power of having a band). But the rest? (more…)