“A setback is a setup for a comeback.” –Willie Jolley, motivational speaker.
Right now, I’m grappling with a setback. I scrapped and scrabbled my way out of Detroit in order to move to Atlanta, and got a two-month sublease in a complex I’ve come to love that’s ending June 1. It was assumed that I would simply get a new lease in June, but we all know the result of making assumptions. So after waiting for my landlady to get the approval for me to rent her unit, she told me she won’t be able to rent it, but she’d be glad to negotiate a price for me to purchase it.
Ummm — not gonna happen. I’m not ready to buy, and even if I were, I don’t know that I would want to buy this unit. The high of moving to Atlanta temporarily retreated in the shadow of possible homelessness.
But there are always positives in the midst of trials. These are some of the key concepts that are carrying me through this trial and could possibly assist you during yours.
· Each One, Reach One
Fortunately, I had already connected with a classmate who is a realtor and retained her services to prepare me for buying property in Atlanta. Her passion for helping me find someplace to live almost exceeds mine, and she has been the key advocate in my negotiations and research for a spot to move to. The fledgling network I’ve built here has resources that should ensure that I’m not homeless or forced to move back to the D. If I had barricaded myself in a new-city panic attack or kept mum about my situation, I wouldn’t have been able to act so quickly to secure another place.
· Let It Go
I have also learned through past adversity to just watch God work. Even if you’re not spiritual, you have to agree that some situations in life have strange ways of working themselves out, without your “help.” When we relinquish control of an outcome, it oftentimes turns out better than we could imagine. The apartment I’m looking at moving into is directly above my current one and in compliance with all of the condo board’s requirements. Had I stayed where I am, I could have been in for a nasty surprise—like finding my stuff out on the curb!
· No Shame in My Game
It’s funny how some of your closest people point out the negative when you’re going through some shit. I fail to see how warning me about credit checks, shady landlords and massive security deposits is helpful when I have to move NO MATTER WHAT. If friends voice their fears when you’re at your lowest point, the best thing to do is keep it moving. Keep your own counsel and play things close to the vest. If people really want to help, they will offer support when they recognize what you’re going through. Just don’t feel obliged to soothe them or make their fears your own. Nothing shuts up haters like success.
Playing for high stakes will always mean shouldering risk. The bleaker the cliffhanger, the more exhilarating the escape. Stay tuned…